"...I've got a couple dents in my fender.
Got a couple rips in my jeans.
I try to put the pieces together but perfection is my enemy.
On my own I am so clumsy but on Your shoulders I can see....I am free to be ME!"
~Francessa Batistelli
I grew up wishing I was anybody but me. I thought everyone else in the world had admirable qualities except me. I wanted to be my grandmother because she was spiritual. I wanted to be my mom because she was assertive. I wanted to be my cousins because they could dance and were popular in school. I wanted to be my friends because they could sing and were athletic.
I could see the wonderful qualities in everyone except me!
I was just average. Nothing special. All I saw in myself were the things I needed to work on. I thought my body was shaped funny. My ankles too big; my boobs too small; my hair to thick; my voice too soft;...etc.
I always had a heart for God and wanted to do things for him but I didn't think I would qualify to be used by God because I never "really went through anything". I was basically a good person so I thought I would go to heaven. I wasn't like Saul who persecuted Christians before God turned his heart. My testimony wasn't "shout worthy". Meaning I didn't have a miraculous story about how I became a christian. I wasn't drunk or high or a prostitute.
I wanted more God in my life and without getting to deep in theology, God had a specific process for me to be closer to him. So one day I decided that I would believe that God so loved the world that he sent his only son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can be reconciled back to Him. Through the life death and resurrection of Jesus, I began to see things differently. I discovered that I should be only be one person...and that is Julia.
But not just any Julia...the Julia who was in intimate relationship with God! She was THE best Julia I could be for myself and for others.
I know that everyone who reads this might not agree with Christianity and that is fine with me. But I can't separate my faith from who I am so it will be a regular theme in all my posts. Just like being a black woman and a mother and a friend and a wife will be elements in my posts because they are all elements of who I am.
The difference is that in my adventures in being me...I have to sift through varies ideologies, philosophies, and thoughts about who I should be. I have concluded that I can't successfully navigate any of that without a sound foundation...and for me that foundation will always be Jesus.
So this blog will be about my adventures in trusting, believing, discovering, and just plain being me. I might be the only one who struggles with the topics I bring up, but maybe I am not. Hopefully it can insightful and funny for the readers.
It is a brave thing to really be yourself....and then post all about it on the Internet :) But I am up for the challenge.
Wholeheartedly me,
Julia
I luv it already ...Bless da name of Jesus...n congratz for always beingU U ...a leader n not a follower ...except for Christ da is ..;)
ReplyDeleteHappy Being Me !!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteMust be the chill in the air...reminding us all of our origins and our purpose to go forward with the message.
ReplyDeleteYou are perfect in his eyes and because of that you are in mine as well!! May blessings continue!
Thanks Bev! You are right about it feeling Fall like. For me Fall was always symbolized starting over starting fressh not spring, not New years but the beginning of fall i take a look at my life and begin to make plans:0)
ReplyDeleteI love it Sis! Keep doing your thing!
ReplyDelete